Since I spend all of my time speaking about overcoming the fear that stopped me from reaching my potential I decided that the time was right for me to dip my toe into the scariest of speaking arenas — comedy.
Ok, so it wasn’t a full stand up routine (yet) but participating in a Bad Book reading event alongside real comedians was a little nerve-racking.
I spent a lot of time hunting for the right book, my first choice was a 1960s American pulp paperback about Lili Elbe, the Danish Girl, that I owned.
“This is bound to be full of horrendous passages that I can play up to,” I thought, but alas it turned out that inside the sensationalist cover was a very staid, clinical report on her story.
Then, just as he did with his music in the 1980s when he helped me through some very dark times, Morrissey appeared on a metaphorical white steed to save me from comedy humiliation.
Yeah, I know that that wasn’t his intention when he wrote ‘List of the lost’ but never mind, save me he did.
I found my excerpts, thought about my delivery and was ready — 0r so I thought.
A last minute loss of confidence in the humour of my material the day before made the 24 hours leading up to the event a bit nervy but the support of my friends saw me through.
One of them, thanks Susy x, even managed to blag some daffodils for the performance by making me do an impromptu recitation in the florists at Hove railway station.
“Is the whole book about sex?” I was asked after my performance.
Well at this point I must admit that I didn’t read all of it, it was a very difficult read, and I’ve attempted and failed to read ‘Seven Pillars of Wisdom’ by TE Lawrence about six times so I know what a difficult read is!
So now I’m on the look out for a stand up comedy course, or an opportunity to perform.
I know that it will be even harder but it’s by facing up to that fear that we feel truly alive.
It frees us to embrace every opportunity that comes our way and I know that with the love, support and belief of my friends I can do anything — all I have to do is take the first step.